Um, yay?

I'm confused.
I realize I say this a lot (because it's true) but I really am right now. So, I have the boyfriend of the dreams. He's sweet, he's funny, he has the most amazing eyes I've ever seen, and he's like a dream, a dream I always thought I was so close to touching, grabbing it, but it was always just out of my reach, like swiping blindly through the fog, trying to locate a small, dark thing. Eventually you'l find it. And I guess I found that elusive piece of whatever I wanted, and I can see it, gleaming right in front of it. Suddenly, it's not hard to reach. People don't shake their heads and think I'm hopeless for trying to find it. And I guess that's good.
So, in case you didn't guess already, I'm the person blindly trying to find something in the fog. And Nick's the thing I'm trying to find.
So here's my dilemma- I have this thing, this dream, this thing I've always wanted, right in my hands.
So now what I do?
I feel like this is so right, but something's slightly off-balance. I mean, I'm twelve. So much older in many, many ways, but that doesn't matter. I'm twelve (and a half) but I have more experiences than most people. Who meets their true love when their, well, I met him when I was nine. And I immediately struck up a fast friendship with him, always close, always laughing with him, and then I realized how I felt.
Romantic, surely.
Predictable? Even more so.
I'm unpredictable. I'm weird. I'm random. I have depth and intelligence, complex and soulful outlooks on things, but I'm also a free spirit. I don't want to be tied down. I don't want to be married straight out of high school.
I don't want to be what some people think I should.
So why should I care what anyone thinks? I love and have loved him. Am I going to live my entire life after him?
I direly don't. Yet whenever I'm around him, it's like the sun, warm on my back, dancing in front of me. And I want the happiness to last forever.
So, my question is, what IS love? What makes it so we're attracted to some people, yet utterly despise others? What makes it so magical yet so painful all at once?
Whoever has these answers just solved all life's problems. But I know that for now I'm going to be doing this- thinking about him.
Forever and ever- two scary words. I need to make up my mind on my own. This is something no one can help me with. This is why I couldn't ask him out. I over think everything.