Suckiest day EVER

Yes, suckiest day ever. EVERYTHING SUCKS!!! What is the POINT!? I know it's like live and learn, blah blah blah, but like I've been through SO MUCH. I REALLY have to vent, so just listen. Or x out and have fun with your true love! That's what I'd do... but wait. I don't HAVE one.

So I found out yesterday that my cousin DIED in Iraq. She looked exactly like me, but with brown hair instead of blond. She and I were tight.

Now she's dead.

I was running late to school, and I have asthma, so my dad made me RUN the whole mile to school- and it's halfway uphill- and I got there in time, but I was the last one there. (Heh. you should see all the guys when they hear me walk in the door. Their eyes get wide and some of them blush or clear their throats)

So I have to listen to the mindless chatter of my fellow students during homeroom, when I would so rather talk about ideas but all they care about is people. It's BORING.

Heath- need I say more? Easily the most boring class EVER, I have to stay awake for 45 minutes while my teacher drones on and on and ON about violence and why it's bad and I'm thinking, Chinese water torture has to be better than this.

So finally the bell rings, I run upstairs to Civics, and have to listen to my teacher talk about "important documents." No offense to my teacher, but the class is SO boring.

So I scamper out of her room after the bell gives a faint noise, and go to my second- least-favorite class: Math.

Shudder.

We had a test. About something I wouldn't get in sixty years.

And I REALLY don't want to dwell on that. Lunch was okay, I sat next to Nick, didn't eat as usual, finished some homework, wrote, flirted, and left to my favorite and scariest class- English.

My teacher gets p.o.'d real easy, so she was yelling at us after we were talking sorta loud. And we had be quiet for the rest of the period. Like that'll ever happen. So Aaron- the guy who sits next to me, who loves me but I don't love him *ahem* offends me deeply by my cousin. The dead one. So I stonewalled him, and when I was forced to socialize, I was as cold as ice. (just like my hands)

Science. Loud, because no body will shut up. On the plus side, I sit next to Nick, and sometimes I have to point out things in his textbook, normally laying in his lap. but we were talking about depression and schizophrenia, which I have both. So it was sorta embarrassing. So we had to draw. I SUCK at drawing.

But the worst part was after Science. I have a locker on the top, someone below me, someone next to me, and someone under him. So it's totally understandable that I left something in the hallway. So I run over to band, which is on the other side of the school, and realize I don't have my music. I run over to my locker, only to hear from the guy who has the locker beneath mine to say that my Civics teacher just picked it up. So, yeah, I was mad, and I walked in to her room, teeth clenched, and asked for my folder as calmly and as quickly as possible, and then I had to RUN back to band and I was this close to being late. I have asthma, and what p.o.'d me was that I asked my Civics teacher for a pass, and she's all "that's not my responsibility." Even though she- as well as my other teachers- know about my breathing problem. And she also knew I had half a minute left, to run to band, to grab my flute, throw a chair down, reach over the clarinet players' heads for a stand, jam my flute together, frantically flip through my warm-ups to find the scale that I need, my heart beating wildly, my breath wheezing, coughing, and I feel like I'm about to puke. My band teacher, like everyone else, was way stressed out, so whenever we played something wring the whole balance quivered. I just wanted to bury my head in Nick's shirt and have him wrap his arms around me while I cry.

Is that to much to ask?

And then I had to go home, which I never really want to go to. I have to lie every second of every day.

Well, I have to go. To a concert. That I'm playing at.

Oh, God.

Well, ttyl.