it's the most *cough* wonderful time of the *sneeze* year

It seems like I've been riding a very adrenaline-pumped, slightly scary emotional roller coaster lately. You know, I think this is more of a thing where I'm really bored and have nothing to do but go through memories that I might not like so much and ones that I keep close to my heart. I was really bored yesterday so I stared surfing the Web on my new iPod and found out that love is the mutual feeling of respect and friendship between two people. Well what about me? We all know I love Nick, but can I call it love? I don't know of it's mutual or not! We're very tentatively holding on to our "just friends" relationship. And trust me, that last thing I want is our friendship ruined. He's an awesome guy (to me) and he's really sweet (to me) and he's really funny (to me) an I was also surfing and looked on wikiHow to see the ways you can tell if a guy is interested in you. And to be honest, Nick met most of the criteria thing except for the teasing thing because he knows how much I hate that. (He knows me so well!) God, I wish I could be the girl I was.
Sadly, she grew up. Back then I was fine being just friends with him. I would never have noticed that little flip my heart did as soon as I saw him (that's called frission, children) and the blush that heated my face. Then I had to ruin it by falling in love with him when I drove away from elementary school on the last day of fifth grade. Then everybody found out in sixth grade (thanks a lot, DJ) and he found out something big that I don't want to mention here, but I'll tell you that it makes my atonement to him very, very large. Sigh. Oh, when I was on WikiHow I saw this article on how to be irresistible to anyone. Here's the secret: You have to think lusty thoughts, and make it sow in your eyes. Turn your eyes to someone and they will fall for you in a snap! Just practice it though, and make sure you don't look pschcotic. I did it and I looked like I belonged in a mental hospital, so yeah. PRACTICE IS KEY. Keep alluring people!
XOXO and holiday resentments,
Rachael